sigh. got back my results. sucks. really sucks. sucks until i really comtemplating to quit school. tried cutting myself again. failed. it seeems like my path has reached a dead end. i don know how to carry on. where should i go?
again, i thought of how lousy i am. come to think abt it, i have really nth good about myself. i can't think of any. sigh. wad a failure i am. a loser.
talked to mum about my thoughts, how lousy i am. surprisely, jus when i thought that i'm so darn lousy, she told me that i've never make her worry abt me. i know how to think, i know wad's right and wad's wrong. From a parents' point of view, it beats anything. I smiled.
alot of stuffs have been going through in my mind. wad's life, y is God treating me this way etc. but despite all these, i know that everything happens for a reason, and today is a result of yesterday.
Dad overheard our conversation. he told me to relax. as long as i've given my best, there's nth to regret abt. he also said that i can always take over his business. i immediately rebated; i don wan to rely on my parents. i wan to success using my own abilities. i don wan to be like morning glory, i wan to be like catus. i wan my parents to be proud of wad i'm doing.
throughout all these years, Dad and Mum have never been concern about my studies. i mean, they don give stress to me on my studies, coz they know that i know wad i want. i'm not smart, they know it. they know that i have expectations for myself. and my expectations are set for them.
Kind souls have been helping me. i'm really grateful to them.
Thank You who people who have helped me in one way or another.
Thank You Very Much.
started work last week. by the end of the week, i really bth coporate working lifestyle loh. it's really super duper sian. how i wish that my studying life will not end man. when u're working right, u have to take full responsibility on the work that u do. unlike studying; if u bu shuang, can jus don go for lect. HAIZ. and working is like from mon to fri, 9 to 6? agh~ I CAN'T IMAGINE THAT~
wadever. i still got few more years to go~ let's us all enjoy studying while we can!
when to send ejiot off last fri, when i shun bian send my parents off to thailand also. haha. so qiao, they check in around the same time and their checkingin place are jus side by side! in the end, i think i seem to be more like sending off ejiot rather than sending my parents, coz i kept talking to her.
asked her to take care of herself and come back in one piece. and guess wad's her reply?
she'll come back in one thin piece. haha. find it quite funny la. mayb it's coming out from her? and u know, she's well known for foood. and it's quite unbelievable that she'll come back in one thin piece? hmm. we shall seeee~
photos that are taken when sending her off. her specs are so cock la.can't rmb wad i did already.
jus came back from cluedo trial. hmm. not that bad la aactually. and i think that i really sux at dee siao-ing ppl. i so gd.
haiz. so busy. and i gotta catch up with many ppl man. jus don have the time. or rather, i don have so much time on wkend. but nvm~ man man lai~
later in the morning result will be out. i don know if i have the courage to face the reality. mayb i shld start recording my will, start eating eflexxer etc. ( u'll know wad i'm talking abt if u got go for cluedo trial! = PpP)
i don't know how much time do i need. i keep searching for your shadow; looking for people who resemble you. i know it's foolish. i know. tell me what can i do?
nice song~
yesterday night, dad told me that grandma will be coming back for the last time to take a look at us. useless me, i don dare to slp in my room. went to my parents room and zzz. useless me!
woke up 10 in the morning and headed to Khor Meng San Temple. ah. just went we were on the highway, our tyre punctured! dad stopped at the side of the road, and started to change his tyre.
just when we were stuck there for abt 15mins, EMAS RECOVERY truck came and helped us. they so efficient man! they helped us change the punctured tyre~ after changing to spare tyre, we traveled for less than 5 mins, the tyre puncture again!!! -_-" this is my first time in my entire 19 yrs that my dad's car puncture! mayb it's some kind of signal that ahma is trying to tell us? hmmmm..
the EMAS RECOVERY truck came again! then this time we got nth! no spare tyre, no number to call for help. the two LTA guy and my dad started to seek help from the sea of cars. obviously no cars would stop down to help us since it's at highway, and it's a crime to stop at expressway! bo bian, we can't stop at expressway for too long, LTA guys were starting to tow the car. but towing the car wouldn't solve the prob! coz we were still stucked without any tyre, and LTA guys can't tow the car to any workshops!
admist all these things, suddenly there's a 好心人 stop by the highway to help us!! SO GD!!!
unfortunately, that kind guy drove parents and sis to workshop, leaving me ALONE there, with 2 guys on a highway! so scarY! after some time, another EMAS RECOVERY truck came! diaoz. we don need two truck to tow the car!
hahah. took it when i'm squatting down, by the road! so unglam k!
this was taken when dad and the LTA guy seeking help from the road. apparently, no one cares abt them.
BEAR THIS IN MIND.
i pray.
=xI would rather choose to walk.
joyce went in first. i was left outside to rot/nua. then came in a janitor( i shld use more high class word for places like shenton way. haha) Then he started talking to me...in english. i was quite shocked ah. coz normally cleaner/sweeper won't even bother to look at you, let alone talking to u! then he was telling me how great his daughter and son are. like his son jus came back from england having a master in financial engineering. WAHED! then another lady janitor came in and started talking to me too! double shock. then she was also telling me how great her son and daughter are. then initially tot that both of them are no linked one. but then, to my horror, they both are couple!!! lao fu lao qi already, and now walking together. then the wife told me that her husband(the other janitor) used to be a businessman. but now retire already, but nth to do at home. so come out find jobs to do. then at that instant, i was filled with admiration for the old man. don know y. coz normally 上了年纪的人 would prefer to stay at home and nua. but the couple i saw was totally different. the lady continued talking to me until her husband had finished clearing all the rubbish.
felt touched when they left.
soon after they left, joyce came out of the room. and it's my turn! walked in swiftly and quickly got my seat. and see that the 2 ladies got bio my outfit. normally i won't take special care to wad i wear de, but yesterday was different la. going to 27th floor for interview, of coz must have some sey la.
firstly, they ask me to introduce myself. quite shocked. don know wad to say~ so i say some rubbish like i'm 19 yrs old. blah blah blah.
then 有说有笑. quite relaxing la. mayb coz i've been to quite alot of interviews already, then jus treat this like talkcock session loh. somemroe one of the ladies quite chio!!! then asked me some of the modules that i've taken.
told me the nature of the job. then say i'll use alot of excel. then die loh. coz i really don know how to use! but i say i'll learn lo. wad else? hahaha.
ah. after interview went to starbucks for some coffee with joyce. had caramel macchiato.
my caramel macchiato!eh. very milky. the white colour part is the milk~
while walking back to mrt station, kelly-er called me and say i got the job! YESH!~ but feel sad for joyce coz she pusheed away an assignment jus to wait for the reply from the bank. haiz. hope she'll find a job soon!
went for tuition after that!
today as usual zzz until noon. went ot meet terenece and vanessa for marketing stuffs. haha. learn quite alot today. went to kelly to submit my cert. then after that meet lfz. asked him to teach me excel~ we went marina square's xin wang cafe~
and we ordered all these + har gow! my first time there. hmm. not bad ah, the food~ jus that
got amazed by the functions of excel!! really very amazing!! WOW WOW!
went jalan jalan ard that area before heading home.
sigh. got so fan over our hk trip. hope everything goes on smoothly~
so beautiful de east coast. the one in red is my papa. the indian beside him is the customer.
hahaha. trying to take all 4 ppl. my sis occupied half of the photo! so faT!had fried rice, satay, otah, drunken prawn, kai lan with scallop, sesame-filled you tiao and of coz, our all time favourite crab!!! had a 1.6kg crab!! nice nice!!! the crispy bun was also very nice~
we sat outside jumbo. best man. nice scenary, nice food and nice weather!! wad a 完美的一天！
and guess wad we saw amongst all these things!?!?! WE SAW RAINBOW!!!!!! NICE!!! clever me remember to take a pic before the rainbow disappear!
so nice right!?!?!?!?
a closer view! told u my hp camera very gd already!
really very lucky to see rainbow. coz normally we don see rainbow after a shower. but this time round we saw it without any rain!! how lucky!!! quick ask me for 4 digits~
We all have seen a rainbow occasionally in our daily lives during or immediately following a shower of rain and must have wondered the reason for this natural phenomena. Most of us, if not all, as a child must have been excited to see a rainbow in the sky and marvel at its splendid beauty and wondered where it came from.
Rainbows have always fascinated humans every since the early days and as such, have been the subject of songs, poems, stories and mythology. In Norse mythology, the rainbow is the road between the worlds of gods and men. The Greeks used to believe that it was a sign from the gods to foretell war or heavy rain. Indians believed that it was a bridge between life and dead and the Irish believed that a pot of gold lies at the end of a rainbow. It is also mentioned in the Holy Bible in The book of Genesis (Gen 9: 8-17) where the rainbow is the sign of covenant between God and all life on Earth .
Rainbows can be observed whenever there are water drops in the air and sunlight shining from behind the observer at a low altitude or angle. The most spectacular rainbow displays when half of the sky is still dark with draining clouds and the observer is at a spot with clear sky overhead. The rainbow effect is also commonly seen near waterfalls or fountains. Rainbow fringes can sometimes be seen at the edges of backlit clouds and as vertical bands in distant rain or virga. The effect can also be artificially created by dispersing water droplets into the air during a sunny day.
The rainbow's appearance is caused by dispersion of sunlight as it goes through raindrops. The light is first refracted as it enters the surface of the raindrop, reflected off the back of the drop, and again refracted as it leaves the drop. The overall effect is that the incoming light is reflected back over a wide range of angles, with the most intense light at an angle of 40°–42°. The angle is independent of the size of the drop, but does depend on its refractive index. Seawater has a higher refractive index than rain water, so the radius of a 'rain'bow in sea spray is smaller than a true rainbow. This is visible to the naked eye by a misalignment of these bows.[1]
The amount by which light is refracted depends upon its wavelength, and hence its colour. Blue light (shorter wavelength) is refracted at a greater angle than red light, but because the area of the back of the droplet has a focal point inside the droplet, the spectrum crosses itself, and therefore the red light appears higher in the sky, and forms the outer colour of the rainbow. Contrary to popular belief, the light at the back of the raindrop does not undergo total internal reflection and some light does emerge from the back. However, light coming out the back of the raindrop does not create a rainbow between the observer and the sun because spectra emitted from the back of the raindrop do not have a maximum of intensity, as the other visible rainbows do, and thus the colours blend together rather than forming a rainbow.
hehe. so happy~after that went loyang tua peh gong and changi beach!!!
tmr is my practical test le!! gotta wake up at 6.30AM!!!agh. must zzz early ahhh!!
wish me lucks man.
am i on my way to heaven?
sentosa's photos which i took last sat.
wah seh. didn;t know my camera so powerful. we sat quite far from the venue~
my ever messy table!
haha. xiqian trying to be funnny! *happy laughing*
daniel didn't know the way back. we ended traveling to ...errrr... * i can't rmb* it's definitely not the way back. but in the end, we found the way back~ heng ah. thx to him~~~
went home. rest awhile before going out with my parents!hehehe.
pics taken with my mother~
Sat:
went tuition in the nooon. had jap lesson after that. guess how much i got for my jap test?
quick guess! any 2 digit number~~
tada!
got 78~ and the class average is 78! heng ah. i tot i would do badly for the test. coz i only studied on my way to bugis. and studied only half of the content nia~ heng heng~ my jap khaki also got the same marks as me~hohohohooh. but sensei said that other class' average is ard 83 to 84. so throw face ah, our class!
went bhg after that for the sale~ hahaha. bought wacoal bra for $16.80 only! so cheap!!! somemore wacoal is a gd brand. *go ask ur mama or gf or sis if u don know!* went back to tampines after that. went popular to buy some stationary. wanted to buy fried mushroom de, but after much consideration, i decided not to!! coz i'm only left with all those big notes ma. then don wanna spend it + must save money. just when i'm satisfied with my ability to curb my hunger for mushroom, I WENT TO A VCD SHOP TO ASK FOR JAP DRAMA!!!!
AHH. where's my determination of saving money??!! but heng, i also never buy. coz they sell very ulu jap drama. hehehe. HENG HENG!
home sweet home. phew. super long entry!
I MUST SAVE MONEY!